The Letter of Confusion

Sandwich : What it means ?
You know sandwich is something which is pressed from both sides and getting squeezed in between.
How you can be sandwiched if I am not putting any pressure or you from any side.Its your fight for your thing with your family.You want it equally as much as I do.
Also I am not at all asking you or telling you anything what I am thinking so that you don't get any pressure from my end at-least. And you say you are sandwiched.

Main kyun khush hounga tumhe aazmaish mein dekh ke yaar.I have other important things to think about you right now rather than feeling happy by seeing you in this situation.

I never pressurized you for anything  Betu..not for love not for hate nor I will ask you for marriage by doing anything you wont agree.Do what your heart says and what you think will be good for your future and family not for me.

I am saying this because I do only that what I feel is good for me.likewise I feel I love you and I feel happy with you and you are the best person I have ever met.These are the reasons I want to marry you.Not because I am sandwiched or any other thing.

I am too confused from your part these days.I had thought that it will be atleast between us when this all will start.But you sound to confused about us now.I always told you that it will take time atleast months to year for them to digest everything.Its been just a month or less and you seem to have lost hope.

I wish you all the strength of the world.
One of my friend married someone whom she dint wanted and she said to me that " Everyone for whom you will do all the sacrifices will get busy next day you are off their head.Its you who will have to face everything and spend your life.So make sure that you dont hurt your whole life in race of saving others from getting hurt for some days or months".



I miss you.
More than ever.

I just wanna say.

Bas aa phuche ab door nhi chaar kdam bas chalna hai.....!!!

I love you.

Tu hi Tu har jagah....!!!

More than a week has passed and I haven't much heard from you still.
Craving for you is increasing day by day.

From always I have found you in different people ...in their smiles I see you
..or their dimples used to make me remind me of you....the nose...or someone's hairstyle resembles your.
All these things used to bring smile on my face...But now I am searching for your face in the crowd but can't find it. Not even that one moment look which can bring smile to my face.
Maybe because the feel good factor is not there.

I was thinking life is so amazing yet so strange naa. One moment we are the happiest person on earth and don't realize its importance and the other everything vanishes like a dream and we don't know what surprise the next moment holds.

You know from always missing you have been an amazing feel or experience but never felt like this in last 11 years.
Today I think I haven't even talked or loved you the 1% of what I hold in myself.
I miss you always but don't know why this time its different.

I saw a gal sleeping on shoulder of her partner and a surprising thought flashed in my mind. Will I ever to be with you like that ever now...I don't have answer.

I love you.
Miss you.

The Sleepless night...

I have got many sleepless nights since the day I first got to know you on 13th Jan 2004.
I am not getting sleep today,don't know why...is it The love...You...The msg "don't col or msg on my number"... Or the thing which I know still I don't.
I just wish it to be the former two ones.

They say that you realize the importance of things when its not there. But you have never been with me and always there,still you are the most important noun or pronoun of my life.
Missing you has been a great learning experience of my life. I could write a book on it that too in several volumes. Initially it was just waiting for your messages or calls. Or to see your face in school assembly. Then it was sleepless days and nights thinking about knowing the fact that its a dream what I am imagining. But now its different all levels are crossed ,it has crossed all bars of waiting. I just want you to be with me right here. Without convincing my mind with some stupid fake explanations of not happening that.

I miss you so much at this very moment that I can leave you right away but I can't.
You know why...
Because I love you...
Because everything I ever talked to anyone about my future you have always been a part of it. I want to see that dreams getting true.
Because what we have endured all these years will be waste...our promises our love.
Because I have never met anyone more beautiful than you in any sense. If you can't believe it see it through my eyes. The view is just amazing.

I don't fear the future because I know we will try our best to make it the best we can. I fear the days coming after that. Once that comes it will be lot more soothing to see you lie by my side.

I know the fact that test is not over yet. But I fear that it has begun still or not.

I wish I could call you and say I love betu right away. But then life's never been that good and easy to me.

I love you(I hope you listening).