I feel too lonely at times, but that doesnt bothers me much, the problems is that lonilness comes very often sometimes several times during same day even after so many months have past but still it feels as if I have hugged you just yesterday.
Don't know what I want with my life, what I really want to happen and what not but place which has become vacant since you left is growing bigger with each day.I know you might never going to read this but still I write because this is the only place where I can talk to you freely without being judged not even by you.
I never share my feelings with people you already know this but keeping all this inside me and smiling the whole day making life beautiful for others while burning from inside is a huge task which assigned to me.
The worst part is I have nobody to blame too except myself but how to give more pain to myself when I am already suffering so much...every night while coming from office and after reaching home the world around me remains so silent still it feels as if a concrete mixer is placed in my mind...I love watching moon too much...this reminds me of our days when we both were in college but we used to share the same moon.
You know what Pune is a beautiful city, the kind of one you would have loved to spend your life in.
I fear going Delhi now, its not my Watan anymore, I fear everything remind me of your presence if I will go to Delhi again even if for a visit.
You know if I get any watsapp message from a contact directly ( It beeps differently when you get message directly from contact rather than group message ) I hope rises that it might be your message saying "Buddy I missed you "...and then if I will not receive message for next one year that would be fine...It will give peace that you remember me, that's it.
Try to look at your Instagram account but then its private so cant see anything other than your status which is same from last so many things...You will be surprised to know that how weak I have become now , Even I pity myself whenever I try to see your insta promising myself that next time will not do but still I check in hope to get a glimpse.Never got courage to send request with fear that what If you will not accept.
Things become so different naa, but you know what I am happy that you are strong unlike me atleast you know how to control your emotions or maybe I have made you emotionless by hurting you so much in all those years, but its helping you now.
So many things have changes in last 1 year you cant imagine, so many new people I have met lot and lot of new friends who are crazy about me like always, although none of them know what I was a year before.
People love me, everybody who meets me they go crazy I still carry that attitude that brings people closure to me..But that all doesn't give me even a blink of happiness because I was not able to keep that one person close who mattered most.
Do watch moon sometimes just watch don't think anything, I will get the vibes as if I have seen you.
I miss you.
Note : Recent listened a song from movie Ae Dil hai mushkil "Breakup song" I felt as if you are singing that sing....I dont know why.
Shashwat
Don't know what I want with my life, what I really want to happen and what not but place which has become vacant since you left is growing bigger with each day.I know you might never going to read this but still I write because this is the only place where I can talk to you freely without being judged not even by you.
I never share my feelings with people you already know this but keeping all this inside me and smiling the whole day making life beautiful for others while burning from inside is a huge task which assigned to me.
The worst part is I have nobody to blame too except myself but how to give more pain to myself when I am already suffering so much...every night while coming from office and after reaching home the world around me remains so silent still it feels as if a concrete mixer is placed in my mind...I love watching moon too much...this reminds me of our days when we both were in college but we used to share the same moon.
You know what Pune is a beautiful city, the kind of one you would have loved to spend your life in.
I fear going Delhi now, its not my Watan anymore, I fear everything remind me of your presence if I will go to Delhi again even if for a visit.
You know if I get any watsapp message from a contact directly ( It beeps differently when you get message directly from contact rather than group message ) I hope rises that it might be your message saying "Buddy I missed you "...and then if I will not receive message for next one year that would be fine...It will give peace that you remember me, that's it.
Try to look at your Instagram account but then its private so cant see anything other than your status which is same from last so many things...You will be surprised to know that how weak I have become now , Even I pity myself whenever I try to see your insta promising myself that next time will not do but still I check in hope to get a glimpse.Never got courage to send request with fear that what If you will not accept.
Things become so different naa, but you know what I am happy that you are strong unlike me atleast you know how to control your emotions or maybe I have made you emotionless by hurting you so much in all those years, but its helping you now.
So many things have changes in last 1 year you cant imagine, so many new people I have met lot and lot of new friends who are crazy about me like always, although none of them know what I was a year before.
People love me, everybody who meets me they go crazy I still carry that attitude that brings people closure to me..But that all doesn't give me even a blink of happiness because I was not able to keep that one person close who mattered most.
Do watch moon sometimes just watch don't think anything, I will get the vibes as if I have seen you.
I miss you.
Note : Recent listened a song from movie Ae Dil hai mushkil "Breakup song" I felt as if you are singing that sing....I dont know why.
Shashwat
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